Because Jono from down the road isn’t coming to defrost your pipes, love.

Winter in West Auckland isn’t exactly a Game of Thrones-level event, but if you ignore your house until it’s too late, you’ll be cursing the gods of moisture and mould faster than Cheryl West can light a dart and shout, “Get in the bloody car!”

Here’s your pre-winter maintenance list, with just enough bogan humour and Kiwi realness to make it bearable.

1. Gutter Check (Not Just for Looks, Bro) 🍁

Clogged gutters = overflowing gutters = water damage = a very expensive regret.

Autumn leaves are pretty… until they turn your downpipe into a slip’n’slide for roof water.

Do:

• Clear leaves, twigs, and small toys your kids have flung up there.

• Run water through to make sure it flows freely.

• Bonus points for doing this before a storm, not during.

Don’t:

Ignore it because “it looks fine from the ground.” So did Wolfie until he took the fall in season 4.

2. Insulation Ain’t Just Pretty 🤨

Cold house = cold heart = grumpy family. And your power bill? Sky high, mate.

Check:

• Ceiling and underfloor insulation (standard in most houses post-2000, but older homes often need a top-up).

• Draughts around doors and windows.

• That ancient heat pump you haven’t serviced since you moved in.

Pro Tip:

Get thermal curtains. They’re like warm jackets for your windows. Chuck in a hot water bottle and it’s basically glamping.

3. Roof Reality Check 🤦🏻‍♀️

West Auckland homes are tough—but they’ve taken a few knocks over the years.

That old corrugated iron roof? She’s seen things.

Look for:

• Rust, broken tiles, loose screws.

• Mysterious patches of moss that look like they’ve joined a cult.

• Leaks in the ceiling after rain (especially if the previous owner was a “DIY enthusiast” and not in the good way).

Get it sorted now so your open home doesn’t come with a free rain shower.

4. Mould Patrol 🦠

Nothing says “don’t buy this house” quite like the smell of damp socks and a window covered in black fuzz.

Do a room-by-room check:

• Wipe down windowsills.

• Clean out wardrobes.

• Check behind curtains and under beds (yes, even in the teenager’s room—it’s scary but necessary).

Tip:

Use vinegar or a commercial mould killer. Don’t just Febreze it and hope for the best. That’s what Van did, and look where it got him.

5. Chimney & Fireplace TLC (If You’re Fancy Like That) 🔥

Got a wood burner? It’s not just for vibes and Instagram. If the chimney’s clogged, it’s a hazard.

Do:

• Get it professionally swept.

• Stock up on dry wood.

• Avoid burning that mystery pile of old fence palings. (They might be treated timber, and you don’t want that smoke drama.)

BONUS:

Emergency Kit for Westie Winter Woes 👜

Not strictly maintenance, but here’s a solid prep list just in case the power goes out or a storm hits hard:

• Torch (with batteries, not your phone)

• Bottled water

• Blankets

• Tinned spaghetti

• Phone charger that isn’t “somewhere in the car”

• A chilled box of Woodies (optional, but historically effective in crisis situations)

Final Word from Your Favourite Real Estate Agent 🙋‍♀️

Prepping your house for winter doesn’t just keep you warm and dry—it protects your biggest asset. And when the time comes to sell? Buyers love a home that’s been properly looked after, not one that smells like wet carpet and regret.

Need help figuring out what’s worth fixing before you sell? Call me. I’ll bring the checklist and the bad jokes.